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How to spot a portharcourt “Runs babe” in 5 minutes

Guys here are some tips on how to spot a runs girl in Portharcourt:

1) The minute she tells you am a “student” in ‘Uniport’ or “Ust” and she mentions one very ‘weird’ course you haven’t heard before E.g ‘heritage studies’, “democratic Economics’, ‘spiritual relations’, your runs girl alarm should start beeping

2) HER PHONES: Once she tells you she is a student, the next thing you should check is her phones. Pay close attention to the following subcategories:

a) Student with iPhone 5 and below- 20% chance of being a runs girl

b) Student with iPhone 6 alone—50% chance of being a runs girl

c) Student with iPhone 6 and medium techno—-70% chance of being a runs girl

d) Student with Iphone6 plus Samsung S6 plus medium techno——99% chance of being a “confirmed” Runs girl, the 1% chance is her having rich parents or relatives or an extremely generous boyfriend…..

3) HER HANDBAG: This Is another way to spot a Ph runs babe”, they favor big handbags That can carry their “mobile toiletries” like the towel, slippers, shower cap, another fresh pair of clothes, makeup etc. If You invite any girl in Portharcourt to your place without prior arrangements of a ‘sleepover’ and You spot the aforementioned items in her bags, You runs girl alarms should Start blowing….

4) HER PRESENT LOCATION: Port Harcourt runs girls are ‘almost’ always at their friend’s place in “Gra” or “Orazi”, If every time You call and ask where she is and she says “am at my friends place at GRA  or Orazi” my brother you fit don dey play 4 FC Runs girls

5) If you tell her to come over and she says “Am waiting for my ‘CABMAN’! This is the ‘holy grail’ of ‘Runsgalism’ in Portharcourt, every runs girl in Ph has a ‘Cabman’

6) If you want to take her on a date and she keeps avoiding “popular” joints then You should be worried because You Just might be a customer and she doesn’t want You to meet her other customers because of its bad for business. For example, she says something like “I don’t like beer barn because it is always rowdy” abeg which joint was opened to be empty?

7) This might seem irrelevant but if she knows all the good shawarma spots You should also be worried because the official runs girl food is ‘shawarma’

If she doesn’t introduce You to her friends, This Is also a red flag because runs girls have been known to snatch customers from each other so they have become very protective of their customers(PS-YOU MIGHT BE A CUSTOMER AND Won’t EVEN KNOW, TOPIC FOR ANOTHER DAY)

9) SHE IS NEVER AT HOME ON A FRIDAY NIGHT: This Is a very major sign hence the capital letters, if You call her every Friday and she always has one excuse or the other for not being at home then it’s very likely You have yourself a “runs girl”

10) If You take her to the club and “THE BOUNCERS” know her, Sopoona oooooooo! This Is ‘hardcore’ proof That she is a ‘confirmed’ ‘stamped’ and ‘certified’ runs girl, if You do not believe 1-9 You cannot doubt This one because every “Guy” man in Portharcourt knows the bouncers in clubs have the ‘full’, “complete”, “uncompromised” database of all the runs girls in the state…

PS- “RUNS GIRL” and “ASHAWO” are not the same as some of You like to argue unless You are trying to tell me That “DSS” and “NIGERIAN POLICE” are the same thing, ABEG ABEG!!! SHOE GET SIZE!!!! shoutout to area boy!

CULLED FROM NAIRALAND.